Anthony Comstock Would Be Proud

I’m posting this on behalf of Lailah. She recently commented on my personal blog, telling me about her arrest. I encouraged her to write her story and submit it to be posted here. Since the general public looks at this blog, I would like them to see what an arrest feels like from the perspective of a consenting adult sex worker — the most common kind of sex worker, BTW. I’m very proud she took me up on my offer.

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Lailah (not my real name). I’m a single mama, a business owner (businesses NOT adult oriented), and a professional escort. I spend my spare time cleaning house, tending children, and being a soccer mom, just like every other mother across the country. I started escorting in early May, 2010. And I stopped in June, 2010. I loved it. I absolutely loved escorting. I couldn’t see a downside to it. I like sex and money. My clients liked sex and money. They were willing to give me money to spend time with me (admittedly, we spent that time having sex), so we both got what we wanted and went away happy.

I started escorting because of the single mom thing. I’d spent my whole life (I’m in my early 40s) being the perfect, taxpaying soccer mom. I owned a business — but it went south when the real estate bubble burst. I got another job, but it didn’t pay my bills. Escorting did. I often earned $500 or more a night. Good heavens, you can’t beat that with a stick! I became more and more concerned about law enforcement, though. I started choosing upscale hotels, thinking that most hookers would be in the downscale motels, and a more upscale location would protect me a bit. And then the shoe dropped. I was in my room with a man who, unbeknownst to me, was an undercover police officer. Now, even if he’d told me he was a cop, that might not have set off any of my alarms. I’d already fucked a former FBI agent, several off duty cops, and a CIA agent. We discussed prices, and I emphasized that my prices are for my time. When he seemed ready to go to the next level, I told him that what he paid for was my conversation, and if he wanted me to have sex with him, then the part of the appointment he paid for was over and any further activities would only be between consenting adults. So we started talking about what we liked to do in bed. I thought he was a little reticent, but I’d had nervous guys before, and I thought that was the case here as well. I tried to break the ice by telling him I like receiving oral. He asked if I would also give oral sex. I said yes, that sounds like fun. I began to slip my clothes off. He asked me again. “So, you’d let me eat you out and then you’d give me a blow job?” Sure, sounds like fun! And then I heard a beep, followed by a pounding at the door. I peeked out the peephole and saw several people in POLICE t-shirts, with one holding up a badge. So I opened the door before they broke it down. This was a 4 star hotel. I didn’t want to freak out the other guests. Keep in mind that at this point, I’m in my bra and panties. No shoes. AT LEAST 10 police officers entered the room. I got hustled back to the bedroom (I was in a suite), shoved against the wall, and searched for weapons. Where the bloody fucking hell did they think I had a gun? Shoved up my pussy? They didn’t look there. A male cop threw my clothes at me and told me, with disgust in his voice, to get dressed. He had a ski mask on and refused to remove it. Then they told me that they were there for credit card fraud. I kept asking, “What’s wrong with my card?” But they wouldn’t answer my question. I asked, “Am I in trouble?” but they wouldn’t answer that either. They did, however, proceed to tear my room apart “looking for weapons.” They told me they wanted information on a friend of mine who ran an escort service. I’d worked for him for a few days before I struck out on my own. They read me my rights, but then they told me that if I didn’t “cooperate” I would be booked into jail. If I “cooperated” I would just be cited. They started talking about money laundering charges, and making me spend the weekend in jail. I decided to ignore the little voice in my head and opted for the citation. I talked. I told them what they wanted to know about my friend. A female cop wanted to know if these men ever disgusted me. I had to bite my tongue to keep from making a smart remark. They asked me over and over who I was at the hotel with, and seemed not to believe me when I told them I was there by myself. I was terrified. I’m in my 40s. I have a boss, a business, and children. A reputation that didn’t mean much in my early 20s could be destroyed, my children taken from me…I told them what they wanted to know. And they weren’t really interested in me, except to ask me about the positions I used with my clients, how often I had sex, did I give or receive oral, etc.

They got the information they wanted, wrote me a ticket, and left me alone. I packed up my things, crying and sobbing, checked out early, went home, threw up a few times, didn’t sleep until sunrise, and then took a couple sleeping pills, and slept the rest of the weekend. When I woke up, I woke up crying, took a shot of whiskey, and went back to bed.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. When I called the police after being beaten by my first husband, they refused to protect me. In fact, they blamed me for his drinking and womanizing. Even after the doctors told the cops that I was one blow from having my skull shattered, they blamed me. When I was brutally raped on a date rape, kicking and screaming, and went to the police, they did nothing. They blamed me because I’d been drinking. And, you know, for being female. Great. So now I’m happily making money, stimulating both the economy and the gentlemen of the area, and here they are banging down my door. Like the Gestapo. They told me they were “protecting” me. From what? As an escort, I could afford condoms, blood screens, regular medical checks. Gentlemen who are willing to pay for sex are, in my experience, much more respectful than the ones who expect it for free. The ones who raped and battered me were getting free sex. The ones who paid, were kind and respectful. Besides. I have 3 children. I’ve been married and divorced, more than once. This is not my first rodeo. I knew what I was dealing with as far as my mental, emotional, and physical health were concerned. That was on a Saturday. On Monday evening, my boss sent me a terse text. “We need to talk.” He’s also my best friend. And I own a share of the business. I called. “I got a call from the police.” I almost fainted with terror. They had told him what they had gotten me for, which would have lost me my job if I hadn’t been such good friends with my boss and/or owned part of the business. Bless his heart, he wasn’t upset about me screwing around. Or the adult nature of the work. He was mad because it’s ILLEGAL. And he was afraid they would drag him into it. And I was mad because this was my legitimate job. My long-term plan wasn’t to be a whore, it was to build up this business. And, if I had had a “regular” job, I would most definitely have been fired. Which would have forced me to escort again. Which would have gotten me in trouble again. What ever happened to “innocent until proven guilty”? What gave them the right to call my boss and tell him ANYTHING until after a trial? I’m in love with someone. We’re not in a relationship, but I didn’t want that getting to him. What if they called him? And he’s a former cop himself. He hates cops now, because of the sick mentality they have. As of right now, I am trying to get the charges dropped. I believe the police violated my constitutional rights. But I’m not quite sure how things will turn out yet. Anthony Comstock would be so proud…

57 Responses

  1. […] anyone who is curious about what an arrest feels like to a consenting adult sex worker, please read her well-written story. She’s doing very well for such a recent shock. I like intelligent, angry, uppity women. Feel […]

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lia, Amanda Brooks and Missy, Josephine H.. Josephine H. said: RT @RogueReverend: RT @amanda_brooks: Your tax dollars at work. What it feels like for a US escort to be arrested: http://bit.ly/cAJJs3 […]

  3. Infuriating. You have my sympathies.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story with us Lailah!

  5. My heart goes out to you. Hope everything works out in the end xo

  6. Terrifying, nauseating and disgusting. Would going to court over human rights violations get anywhere? The abuse of power is mind-boggling

  7. I am so proud of my country and it’s “priorities”.
    😦

  8. Thank you for sharing. I am yet again abhorred at the way people are treated particularly by those allegedly in Authority. I wish you nothing but the best with your case. I hope you win. Stand strong and know there are so many people out here behind and supporting you. This is an appalling way to treat another person.

    Thank you for being such a wonderful strong person.

  9. Lailah, Unfortunately your story is all to common. They also often call your landlord, and request that you be kicked out (in many areas of the US, this is perfectly legal if you are a ‘prostitute’).

    I’m sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that you find support, and that you fight this! Let me (and us) know how we can help! You are not alone.

    With Love,
    Tara

  10. I echo those who commented before in thanking you for telling your story and in sharing the outrage at the abuse of power and at the injustice of the laws. If there is any way you think I can be helpful to you please let me know. elizabeth.wood11 at gmail.

  11. Laila, every time I hear a story like this I feel sickened. I feel sickened that these people think it’s OK to harass and belittle you because of your job; sickened that a society should make it illegal to have consensual sex with somebody else – whatever the arrangement; sickened at the prurient way they questioned you; and sickened at the pervading implications of this for you.
    I often wonder what psychiatric condition the law makers and the “law enforcers” suffer from. What makes them hate/fear sex workers and hate/fear sex and hate/fear women so much?
    I hope the healing goes quickly for you and that life looks up.
    Best wishes
    CA

  12. You were in this business for just a little over a month and this happened to you? That has such a “Wow, that really sucks” factor however much I feel that getting arrested at any time is horrific.

    But the fact that they contacted your business partner, I mean, how in the hell did they KNOW that you had a business? They must have really checked you out!

    This could happen to anyone and is just terrible to read. Good luck to you. Maybe you could find someone to represent you not only for the criminal charge but for something else connected to their obscene treatment of you.

    Best of luck to you,
    Elisabeth

  13. No human being should have to tolerate such treatment. Please realize you have a coalition of supporters out there.

  14. Thanks for sharing this! I admire you Lailah… all of us should learn to respect each and every human being on the planet, whatever their profession are.

  15. Reflecting on this story, while we all instinctively express our horror, indignation, disgust and moral support, the question remains as to what can we do about it. Can we ‘make a difference’, bring about social change?

    Our responsibilities lie both with the degree to which we can provide tangible support to Lailah, and to a broader social issue. Can we move from this story of one woman, but undoubtedly one of many similar stories, to consciousness raising? Can we disseminate this story and raise moral outrage in the community at this harassment of women? Can we call for an investigation into police tactics. These are all questions we cannot evade.

    Thank you Amanda for bringing this forward, and thank you Lailah for your courage and determination. I for one would be interested in your thoughts about moving forward.

  16. I agree with Michael. Lailah, I am horrified and disgusted to read your story, and have unbelievable sympathy for you! Please tell us where we go from here. Do you have legal help? Do you have a support network? Someone you can call? How can we help both you personally, and how can we make this a catalyst for change?

  17. I’m overwhelmed by the responses!

    To date, no charges have been filed. I’m a little nervous about rocking the boat until I know more about what is going on.

    I was given a misdemeanor citation, and showed up for court as ordered, but was told I did not have a court date. I’m calling the court every few days for a while until I’m sure I can beat the rap because the police didn’t file their paperwork timely.

    I think I got nailed because I started out working for an agency, and the owner got nailed for pandering and money laundering. He’s still in jail.

    This happens all the time. I’m lucky in so many ways – I have life experience that allows me to experience this as just another bump in the road, instead of the disaster it would have been when I was 20 or 21.

    No, I don’t have an attorney. I had one picked out, but I was going to have to go back to escorting to pay him – and it wasn’t worth the risk of getting caught again. The first time was bad enough.

    I just wanted people to know what it’s like for the escort. And to point out that a lot of us are not kids who are doing this against our will – I’m a consenting adult.

  18. It’s situations like this one that makes me work harder at being a better and sharper criminal than the police, cause God knows the Police are total criminals.

  19. Dear Lailah,
    if you want to write something that might help others at Sex in the Public Square, either post there or let Elizabeth Wood or myself know.
    in solidarity
    Michael
    http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/

  20. […] they don’t. Not even close. In general, the police are complete assholes to sex workers. This short piece from a former sex worker absolutely breaks my […]

  21. It takes a lot to make me tear up these days. This story did it. When you looked through the peephole, I stopped breathing and completely choked up.

    Thank you for writing this story and best of luck fighting the charges. It’s sick that you have to, but in a sense you’re doing it for all of us, and you have all my admiration & support.

  22. @Michael,

    You may certainly use my story. You can email me directly at lailah36 [at] yahoo [dot] com. I’m not sure what would be most helpful.

    @Casey – that is a supreme compliment. Thank you. I really wish it had been a work of fiction, though.

    xoxo
    Lailah

  23. This is a sad story, one of the things that is inevitable with escorting is legal trouble unless you are working somewhere where it is legal. This sounds like an “Operation Flea Collar” type deal:

    http://www.adultinternetlaw.com/articles/police_investigation.php

    I can remember when that went down in Florida, my girlfriend and I were a bit nervous. Fortunately, she was not friendly with or close to any of the principals. They came down pretty hard on the women who were, though.

  24. Iam glad this story was shared but I am a bit confused on the whole arrest. maybe becuase I am in Canada and when they arrest escorts for working indoors its becuase they are breaking the bawdy house law and they do it after prooving your using an incall as a brothel.

    I do hope everything works out for her because this could be worst and happen to anyone who is an indoor working prostitute aka proffesional escort. upscale or mid range hotel does not matter where you wrok your still at risk.

  25. Next time don’t be a whore. Problem solved. Oh, and don’t bring your kids into your reasoning for selling your body. If you truly cared for them, you wouldn’t be out at night sleeping with strangers and coming home to take “a couple sleeping pills, and [sleeping] the rest of the weekend” and waking up to take “a shot of whiskey, and [then going] back to bed.” Very responsible. Get a real job like a self-respecting person and then talk about caring for your children.

    By the way, not trying to be a jerk, just being realistic. These other commentors are way too sappy.

  26. One of the police officers was wearing a ski mask? Gosh, doesn’t that just say it all? Since when is a ski mask standard operating uniform?

    You gotta be fucking kidding. We’ve got people wanting to blow us up, and a police officer in a ski mask terrorizes sex workers.

    Laila, I hope you get the support you need and deserve. Use every resource you can.

  27. The comment from Belinda was held in moderation. I approved it as part of BnG’s free speech policy.

    Not sure why Belinda is even reading this considering her views.

    XX

  28. Unfortunately, the comment from Belinda illustrates the immense challenge of changing the situation. Raising awareness is not enough when people purposefully refuse to think critically or even emphasize. A class I took in social psychology taught me that people are inventive at finding ways to hold on to stereotypes and prejudice – as we just saw.

    My heart and best wishes go out to Lailah. A strange mix of rage and sadness goes to the Belindas of the world.

  29. @Belinda: It is a real job, a real self respecting legitimate job just like any other. Attitudes like yours are at the seat of the problem for many women and men like Laila.

  30. *spelling correction: empathize, not emphasize

  31. *sigh* I think all this could have been avoided. I’ve been working in this profession long enough to know that the police will leave you alone if you do not provoke them UNLESS you are being investigated they will leave you alone. Take it from someone that has walked into two stings and was let go, all this while working for an agency.

    Why did lailah give a full disclaimer during the date? Did she not have a website? and Why did she discuss prices? You really blame the cop for busting her? LOL! If she would have kept her mouth shut all of this would have been avoided. Like I said, Take it from someone who has been in your position, Lailah.. I just didn’t get arrested.

    Oh and I didn’t get the whole thing about previously fucking cops and CIA agents, Sorry If a guy told me he was a cop I’d run… (I’m referring to what you said in your story Lailah)

    What happened to working smart? You actually have the nerve to blame the hotel for not protecting you. You set yourself up. Spend some time researching before you do this again. Oh have you gotten Amanda’s book? It’s pretty good.

    I would list some sites and link you to some articles but I don’t know what is allowed on here.

  32. Thanks Thais

    good to hear from you, if you are the Thais I know. Well said. I don’t know how to help people like Belinda who seem devoid of empathy and adopt the ‘blame the victim’ approach. Not that I want to call anyone a victim.

    Amanda I appreciate your task as moderator which is not easy.
    m

  33. Kayla,

    It’s called “held in moderation.” I go to this site once a day (pending Internet access). So chill.

    XX

  34. Actually, I don’t blame the hotel. I don’t even blame the cops. (Except that I do think they made things much more difficult than they needed to be.) I had hoped that a higher-class hotel would help protect me, but not in the way you seem to think. I just figured Motel 6 would be a bigger target to the cops than a Marriott or Hilton. Evidently I was wrong.

    I do, however, blame the laws that are on the books that make escorting illegal.

    Fucking is legal. Selling is legal. Selling fucking shouldn’t be a problem. What I do in my bedroom, between consenting adults should be my business. I am well over the age of consent, and I wasn’t fucking little boys.

    That is the point of the story, Kayla. It’s not about blame. I neither cast nor accept blame. Hopefully, it’s about changing the law so that those of us who choose this profession do not have to worry about semantics to avoid being busted. I just don’t think it’s the government’s business. Neither you, nor I, should even have to worry about getting arrested.

  35. Some big issues there Lailah. It is hard to see how anybody could disagree that since neither money nor sex are illegal, how could taking money for sex be illegal? Let’s face it most people trade sex for favours. On the other hand it is very hard to change laws.

    The broader issues are freedom of sexual expression between consenting adults. You will recall how when the police busted two men in Lawrence v. Texas, it went all the way to the Supreme Court which is how homosexuality was decriminalised. Deborah Palfrey was going to launch a constitutional challenge before she died.

    Last year the Constitutional Court in Taiwan struck down the county’s prostitution laws as violating fundamental freedoms and liberty. So we might ask what expectations of privacy did you and your partner have?

    The second major issue is police powers. Did they have reasonable suspicion to invade a private residence to apprehend criminals? Did they exceed their powers in their handling of you at and after the scene? Were civil liberties and human rights violated?

    in solidarity
    Michael Goodyear

  36. For a relatively sympathetic documentary, listen to this BBC programme (4 days left): The Brothel Diaries.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b00sy2jx

    Keep in mind that public broadcasters need to appear ‘balanced’. I think they got a few of their facts wrong, but the overall impression is positive thanks to the willingness of sex workers to speak out in public.

  37. You wrote “They told me they wanted information on a friend of mine who ran an escort service. I’d worked for him for a few days before I struck out on my own. They read me my rights, but then they told me that if I didn’t “cooperate” I would be booked into jail. If I “cooperated” I would just be cited. They started talking about money laundering charges, and making me spend the weekend in jail. I decided to ignore the little voice in my head and opted for the citation. I talked. I told them what they wanted to know about my friend.”

    Cooperating and telling on your friend is called “snitching”. Hopefully whatever you told the police did not hurt your friend. But I hate to say it most sex workers are not prepared for a bust and they panic. Never tell or give those people (cops/LE) information to avoid a few days or even a few weeks in jail. It could get you killed if you tell on the wrong person. If you can’t handle the idea of being arrested and spending a few days or even weeks in jail don’t be a prostitute or do it where it is legal or where a citation is standard practice for a prostitution arrest. Sounds like a crazy experience.

  38. “It could get you killed if you tell on the wrong person.”

    No, most sex workers aren’t prepared for police encounters but when it happens I’m assuming their first concern is themselves, not protecting a pimp. That being said, I’m sure no sex worker is smart enough to figure out on her own that if she talks to police about pimps that they might hurt her in retaliation (as they seem to be the more violently-inclined types in the business).

    A number of online pimps seem obsessively worried about “snitches” so my guess is this is the perspective you’re coming from. If a pimp isn’t prepared for one of his ladies to pass info on him and he spends a few nights in jail, he shouldn’t be a pimp. Or perhaps he should try pimping in an area where pimping is legal.

    Police will use all sorts of tactics to get someone to violate their rights, which if the person in question says nothing without talking to their lawyer first, isn’t an issue. Pimp or not, the most important thing is to not answer any questions at all about anything.

    PS: Not implying Lailah was working for a pimp.

  39. Lailah, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done to avoid police action.

    From the sounds of the imperviousness the police showed to the previous problems you’d dealt with (and sought their help on) plus the manner in which they treated you at this four-star hotel, this was a conservative state or area where this happened. Because of the higher risks escorts take working in these areas, the prices for their services go higher, as well.

    The one good thing is that they weren’t flat-out lying when they told you they’d let you go with a citation if you talked. They can say ANYTHING they want to get you to talk, ANYTHING at all, and there is no recourse if they’ve lied.

    Much love
    xx

    Nicole

  40. I sometimes wonder how terrified and outraged the public would be if the military treated civilians the way the police do. Imagine the military threatening a citizen, contacting their employer or family, threatening them all to make them give information on each other. I’m sure we wouldn’t stand for it. It wouldn’t be the USA.

  41. Belinda, I hate to tell ya this, but what you wrote did make you look like a jerk.
    I am not sappy. I feel for ANY sex worker who goes through this because it is a VICTIMLESS “Crime”.

    Judgement by you regarding how much she does or does not care for her children is out of line. Too bad we do not know more about YOU so I could pick your life apart, lol.

    I have been an independent escort for years, and I did it for ME and my kids were grown before I started but that does not really matter.
    I chose it as a profession because I was in an accident and my head injury caused brain damage and I have a lot of memory problems, hearing loss and other long term issues that keep me from being able to hold down a regular job. I really like what I do and it has changed my life.

    Everyone has a story, and their own reasons why they do what ever they do in life and who are we to judge the choices they make?

    And calling your boss was an insane thing to do and there is probably a law that was broken by that being done. It was extremely out of line and they seemed to just want to cause you more problems. I am very glad your boss is your friend and was cool about it!

    Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for posting this story.

    I know this comes a little late, but good advice to anyone when it comes to cops is SAY NOTHING. They will try to badger you and scare you and some will even act like your friend, but you can only incriminate yourself by talking. Just say “mum” cuz mum’s THE word. Mosat of the time if you do not give in to them they have to let you go. That is not correct in this case because of the officer/client thing, but even if you are arrested DO NOT TALK TO THEM. Wait for an attorney. You mauy be able to walk with the trained knowledge of counsel, whereas if you speak you just might (and probably will) make it worse. Let them threaten and be mean or act like your friend because deep down you know you are doing the right thing by not falling for that.

    Best of luck regarding this ordeal and may you be blessed with it moving quickly and not having any lasting effects on you.

    Chey

  42. Ah, but you see sex workers are not citizens! That is the only possible explanation for the way they are treated. Just as in Nazi Germany, reclassifying people as less than human, means they are no longer entitled to any rights and can be treated as aliens. So ‘fallen women’ are excluded from all the privileges that citizenship entitles the rest of us to.

  43. NEVER EVER EVER talk to the police

    Not knowing the rules regarding posting links,
    here’s a bit of info copied from a page which has
    two videos(not the only source, but the quickest find)
    regarding legal views about speaking with the police.

    In a brilliant pair of videos, , Prof. James Duane of the Regent University School of Law and Officer George Bruch of the Virginia Beach Police Department present a forceful case for never, ever, ever speaking to the police without your lawyer present. Ever. Never, never, never.

  44. Sorry to read about this. Regardless of how or why it happened, it is still a shame that it did. A shame that they seem much more interested in this than in fighting real crimes.

  45. Vice counts on being able to scare The Sex Worker into talking in exchange for a summons or being taken directly to jail. They use this same tatic to get the JOHNS to snitch on the escort. They threaten to call their wifes and employeers. Even in this story the women did no agreet to engage in a sex act for a fee, she clearly stated the fee was for her time, therefore it would never have made it to trial, so vice is counting on her not having an attorney on retainer and already have a bondsman lined up and that they could scare her right into a confession.
    I had the same thing happen to me, however they got a warrant by threatening a JOHN I had seen and had the swat team kick in my door and take me to jail in front of my neighbors, keep me in jail 90 days, gave me 90 days parole and made me pay a 3720.00 within a year of they would issue a warrant. They also told me if I just admitted it they would give me a summons and not take me in and guess what THEY LIED. Luckily my landlord didn’t throw me out and I was abe to finish parole and leave that state. I had never discussed the fee or taken any money from the INFORMANT nor ageed to engage in a sex act, the informant was naked and I had on lingrie and any attorney would tell you it would not have made it to trial.
    Now a days I have an attorney on retainer, who will make sure I am booked given a fair bond and immiedately released, and I will surely not help Vice out with a Coffession again. I am tired to BEING STALKED BY LE. I can’t even report abuse or violance to LE.

    Upon monitoring my news feed on
    http://theproviderpage.com/cms/
    I find articles of how the cops degraded the women they arrested by taking peronal pics of her still naked on their cell phones and of course the case was thrown out once she called Internal Affairs and the cheif of police who was handing out crack cocaine to street level sex workers and demanding free sex in lue of going to jail
    I for one am mad as hell that I do not have the same sancation and protection under the law, and I am being criminalized and discriminated against as in a HATE CRIME.
    Now once they printed my real name in the newspaper, do you think I will eve be able to get a real job again, my profession was being a nanny and home ehalth aid for the elderly, but I was currently out of work when i was arrested, and I too was in my 40’s and had no others means of support and we had already lost our home to foreclosure.
    My suggestion to the women in this article is to find out if they have formally charged you, they only have 33 days to do so or they have to file no information which, means they know they do have enough to proceed with prosecuting you. then contact Internal affairs and file a complaint that they humilated you on purpose and made you tell them about SEXUAL POSTIONS AND SEXUAL DETAILS, while they laughed about it. if you don’t report it, they will continue to do the same to other women, and it might get the case thrown ot if it is still pending.
    Its is perfectly legal to be a escort in this country and charge for your time and companship, if one does not agree to engage in a sex act for something of montary value, then she has not committed any crime.

    I say the best way for an sex worker/escort to protect themselves is to educate herself and have an attorney on retainer, believe us it is better than finding out the hard way with a bad experience.
    PS

    Amanda Micheal G can direct you to the article on my arrest, I am currently still escorting so I don’t want to go public.

  46. Like I said “SEX WORKERS ARE VICTIMS OF HATE CRIMES’ as you can see the clear example in Belinda’s comment first thing she does it call the girl a whore and tell her to get a real job. Sounds to me the lady had more morals and class than Belinda who WISHES US HARM.
    Guess what Belinda escorting is a real job,and I have owned and operated any escorts right out of the yellow pages in my day and paid taxes on my income.
    I love people like you that only see THE LITTLE PICTURE, and I guess you would have been happier that this women and her children became homeless and then they would most likely become a victim of some sort of violance or rape.
    Real compassionate of you. Bad Karma.

  47. OMG! I feel your pain. I really do for I have been arrested before and I didn’t even offer sex. They placed false charges on me and another girl. They treated us like that too and it got worse when we were in jail. We had really crappy comments made to us and was made to feel really low. Bad part is that we didn’t even offer anything illegal! We are just accompanying escorts. I realize how you must of felt during and after that whole experience. I am a mother as well and I was scared to death that everyone, including my child, would find out. They did do you wrong and I am so glad you are fighting this! There is so much injustice going on by the cops now days. People are so small minded. And you know half those cops probably use escorts. Those bigits! I wish you the best and hope everything works out well for you. I really do!

  48. Belinda You are a bitch! You are what is wrong with the world. Go eat your donuts and go to church along with your other bible beating buddies. Just because someone else is getting some doesn’t make it right that you are judging them cause you are a dyke looking bitch. By the way, your ass is really fat in uniform. There I said it. Somebody had too.

  49. I got to the bit where you wrote “disgust in his voice” and my own feeling of disgust (at that cop) stopped me from reading further. This makes me so angry. I live in a country (New Zealand) where this is all quite legal. I’ve visited an escort here, and one in Australia (also legal there). As far as I can tell, society hasn’t collapsed since prostitution became legal in my country (or Aus).

    “Disgust in his voice”!!!! What the..??? Isn’t this so obviously a projection of his own sexual shame, his own disgust at the sexual nature of the being that he himself is…a human being…homo sapiens. What’s he disgusted at? Women? A woman’s body? A woman who has sex and enjoys it rather than staring at the ceiling and enduring it? This makes me so angry…and I can barely articulate why it makes me angry…something to do with the moral vanity involved, the moral snobbery, the hypocrisy of the prude that looks down on humans that dare to actually be human (rather than some sanitised reflection of some inherited ideology)…and that ignorantly, oh so massively unspeakably ignorantly, thinks that their moral sensibilities reflect anything more than meanness of heart and spirit and smallness of person. You shouldn’t have had to go to this, you wonderful woman.

    “Disgust”?? Doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling at that cop.

  50. Ivan,

    Thank you! Exactly.

    XX

  51. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. What a horrible and frightening experience. I’m from the Uk and I never do quite get it why cops in the US have to make the biggest deal and biggest drama about nothing. All it would have taken was one or two discreetly dressed cops to knock on your door, not 10 of them some in ski masks! For gawds sake. They are a complete joke.

    And as for contacting your employer/business partner, that’s just plain vindictive, and unnecessary. Yea why not let you lose your job, partner etc… so you then have to work full time as an escort! That’s really going to solve their ‘problem’. Idiots.

    I really hope Lailah that you manage to get over this trauma without it causing any more upset in your life. I hope you can learn something from this to avoid anything similar happening again.

    As for Belinda’s comments – I pity her. Unfortunately there will always be ignorant, jealous and insecure women. Why is Belinda so interested in prostitution? If she doesn’t like it she should stay away from sites like this because absolutely no one is interested in her small minded opinions.

  52. And we are told that it is ‘feminist’ to support this kind of behaviour. How unfeminist can you be to encourage treating women like this. While sex work is complicated, part of social attitudes to it is to keep women’s sexuality firmly within the marital bed, or even to deny it completely. How more patriarchal can you get.?

    Keep in mind that at least some of the self-styled feminists who work to eradicate sex work, also believe that all heterosexual activity is rape. Sex exists only for men.

  53. The US police are getting really bad in far too many places. “To protect and serve” is a good idea, but many if not most police departments are run by bullies and thugs on power trips. Police are the main source of violent crime in some places, even.

    Dunno how to fix that.

  54. […] net truly felt that she had no choice at all. Not to mention, there are plenty of escorts who got into the business because they were strapped for cash, but who don’t disown the choice they made, even if they […]

  55. […] net truly felt that she had no choice at all. Not to mention, there are plenty of escorts who got into the business because they were strapped for cash, but who don’t disown the choice they made, even if they […]

  56. I am an also currently an escort. I was fortunate enough to have a client who had been hiring escorts for years and on boards communicating with other men so he heard about stings and arrests educate me about safety early on when I started.

    He told me to never see a client with a reference from another verifiable (read “reviewed”) escort, so this exact situation would never have happened to me in the first place because when I asked the officer for a reference to verify him, he would have either told me he couldn’t remember the name of the last girl he saw or would have given me a fake name of girl who is actually an undercover cop posing as a an escort (easy to spot if you are experienced), and our arrangement to meet would have ended there.

    Being safe like this really limits your opportunities, but I just assume all guys without references are cops or wanting to rob or hurt me, and I don’t mind that I’m not making as much money.

    I never see guys who ask for sex acts either before the date or even during. There is nothing spoken or agreed upon about what we will do before or during our time together (like a “real date” – who talks about anything? You just let things happen naturally). I don’t engage in solicitation in any way, shape or form (which also limits my opportunities). But regardless of how you approach it, they will bust if you if they want to for any number of reasons once you are under their radar just like any regulating agency, so it’s best to steer clear of LE altogether by using a screening process even if you are careful not to break the laws concerning solicitation.

    The truth is that being summoned by wealthy or successful men in upscale environments is a thrill. It is SUCH a turn on! I find the whole experience glamorous and very exciting. I am very social and love to talk and meet new people. There are so many things about it that make it fun. And it is has been GREAT for my self-esteem to have so many men tell me I’m beautiful, hot and sexy after being married for 12 years to a man who made me feel like the ugliest woman in the world with his many critical statements and treatment of me. Many of the men I meet are very attractive and we have a lot of chemistry.

    There are times I go weeks without having intercourse (which is ALWAYS safe with upscale escorts, so the idea that is spreads disease is ridiculous) and still make a lot of money. They are paying for your time and I have had guys just want to “cuddle” (seriously).
    It is a shame that people feel the need to equate upscale escorting with street prostitution when it is very different.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: