URGENT: Organizations needed to sign on to Letter to Obama for Dec. 17 !PLEASE CIRCULATE!

Dear Ally in the Fight for Sex Workers’ Rights,

We are writing to request your organization’s support on the attached letter that will be submitted to President-Elect Obama as well as several of his new cabinet appointees.

This letter and the accompanying National March for Sex Workers’ Rights have been organized by the Sex Workers’ Outreach Project USA (SWOP-USA) and our peer-based network of sex worker organizations. On December 17th we are honoring the 6th Annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers (IDEVASW).

Our networks have been at the forefront of advocating for human and labor rights for sex workers in the US. By signing on, your organization is recognizing the right of sex workers to have our demands heard on the critical issues that affect our lives. More information is available in the attached Call to Action and our list of demands.

If your organization would like to host an event for December 17th or if you’d like to attend an event in your city, please visit the official IDEVASW website: http://www.swopusa.org/dec17/index.htm

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Tara Sawyer
Board Chair
Sex Workers Outreach Project USA
877-776-2004 x 3
tara@swopusa.org

912 Cole St. #202
San Francisco, CA 94117
http://www.swopusa.org

To add your organization as a signatory, email press@swopusa.org no later than 5pm EST on December 8th, 2008 please include:

Your Name
Title
Organization
Phone or Email
Website

*The letter, Call to Action and Demands are pasted here as well as attached in .pdf format

William Rockwell Posts about NPR Experience

NPR: “Behind Closed Doors”

I was hosted recently by Michel Martin on “Tell Me More,” a program on National Public Radio. Juhu Thukral from the Sex Workers Project at the Urban Justice Center and Annie Lobert, the founder of Hookers for Jesus also participated. The segment is titled Behind Closed Doors: The Reality of Prostitution, a bit gimmicky, it’s true, but, hey, it’s not like they needed my opinion…

I had several problems with the interview. I had long, drawn-out series of conversations with the NPR folks about “legal” issues surrounding my use of a pseudonym, and, in the end, they decided to broadcast that I was going solely by William because I was “in fear of arrest.” The most disturbing point being that NPR failed to credit the organization I was representing, Sex Workers Action New York (SWANK). This went down as both the Sex Workers Project and Hookers for Jesus were represented in a strong way. I guess sex workers currently working in the business are too busy in the alleyways shooting up, so how could they be organized, right? I tried to make up for it by referencing SWANK quite a few times.

The next bits are mostly my fault: I compared the reproductive right of abortion in poor economic circumstances, which I called a “choice among limited choices,” to the “choice” of doing sex work. Not the happiest of comparisons

Full Post

More Brilliance from Ren

YOU! Sisterhood?

She’s been treated really terribly, falsely in the name of ‘feminism.’ It is offensive to sex workers and feminists alike.

(Ren, Melissa, somebody- I’m too tech-retarded to imbed it here. You’re welcome to modify the post and get the video into it!)

Another Column from Violet Blue at SFGate

San Francisco escorts: No ordinary johns
Violet Blue gets a surprising earful on San Francisco’s challenging escort market

It’s not just that we’re home to locals who claim to have coined the term “sex work” nor that being the home of “San Francisco Values” makes us more permissive — or more gay — than anywhere else in the United States. Escorts have told me that sex work market here is … different.

It was when I was interviewing Karly Kirchner about the death of D.C. Madam Deborah Palfrey that I decided I wanted to know: Is our whorish market — bullish? Kirchner told me:

“The market for sex work in the San Francisco Bay Area is unique in some ways. In my experience, business is much slower here. In San Francisco there is an even stronger draw for secondary sex work in order to make ends meet. So you see market saturation. I would estimate that there are at least 1,000 people a day offering some form of internet-based sex work in the Bay Area. Also, in San Francisco and surrounding areas, the ratio of straight men to other people is different than in most other major cities such as Chicago, New York, Boston or Philadelphia. So the ratio of providers to consumers causes a lull in the market.

Full Article

Death of the D.C. Madam hits home

Violet Blue shows the side of sex work you won’t see anywhere but in new media

Looking for the silver lining, I asked Kirchner if she thought there could be a positive outcome in anything surrounding Palfrey’s death. She replied, “This is another issue being discussed among (sex work) providers. Some of us are hopeful that people will be outraged by this to such a degree that it will inspire new action and new voices working to improve the lives of sex workers. But most of us are skeptical, putting our heads down and focusing on our personal needs right now. I’m hopeful that if we can all be supportive of each other while we’re recovering from the shock and create accessible support systems for sex workers who are moved to action, then it is likely that we’ll see more providers becoming vocal about the injustice of prohibition.”

Another Call for Feminst/Sex Worker Solidarity (Please, pretty please?)

Sexual stigma killed Debprah Jeane Palfrey. This seems like an issue that sex workers and feminists can agree on.

I think there’s this really complicated thing going on with feminist and sex worker perspectives on this. We all agree that we want to stop violence against women. But sex workers are still not treated as equals by many feminists. This is undermining both feminists and sex workers. The tragic death of Deborah Jeane Palfrey and the lack of response and demand for action from the feminist community is a reflection of this problem. Women really cannot be equal and free of oppression if some women tolerate the legal harassment of other women based on their perceived sexual behaviors.

The prohibition of prostitution is a method for social and economic manipulation of women. I don’t believe that it was necessarily the oldest profession, I think that women have always been capable of survival in many different capacities. I do believe that it is probably a profession with the longest history of stigmatization. It is the one form of legal and ritual persecution of women that some western feminists continue to tolerate. The systematic discrimination of prostitutes has a long, long life span. It is as old as sexism.

The visible sexual stigmatization associated with the deaths of Brandy Britton and Deborah Jeane Palfrey have a chilling resemblance to the attitudes that made the systematic murders of thousands of women during witch hunts tolerable to the public.

Feminists and sex workers have to be able to find common ground to fully address the issues of sexual stigmatization, violence and harassment of women based on their sexuality. I think we can identify many mutual goals in resiting such oppression. Our disagreements seem to be about where the harm is coming from and who harm is directed at. Really, I think it’s important for every single individual woman to be able to determine those things for herself and we need strong communities that support us in doing so. Sex workers and feminists are natural allies for creating that community. But if we can’t all learn to communicate better with each other and to treat each other as equals with valid life experiences, we will not be able to have a critique of very legitimate issues without also alienating the people who are affected by what we’re discussing.

In general I totally agree with this post written by Elizabeth A. Nowicki. The part that disturbs me is that there is an overemphasis on expanding criminal penalties to clients and not enough focus on how the legal prohibition of prostitution is damaging for women and is used to either justify their murders or bully them into suicide. Focusing on arresting the clients suggest a motive that isn’t as much about equality for women as it is about punishing the men at the expense of some women.

Women who are exposed as having been involved in prostitution scandals often kill themselves. Men tend to waltz away, unscathed in the long term. I realize these are gross generalizations for which I have no empirical substantiation, but I am thinking about Brandy Somethingorother, from about a year ago.

The author is pointing out that sex workers are treated differently by society than our wealthy and powerful clients. But then she refers to Brandy Britton as “Brandy Somethingorother.” She didn’t have the time to google “Maryland dead hooker Brandy” to check her facts? I mean seriously, if you were going to write about the death of one of our wealthy and powerful clients, would you refer to him as “Somethingorother” or would you use his full name, maybe even checking to ensure that it’s spelled correctly since he’s a public/wealthy/notable figure. But the dead hooker is just a “Somethingorother” whose death you can use to make your case about sexism in the enforcement of prostitution laws without questioning the sexism that defines prostitution as a crime in the first place.

Lots of feminist are writing really powerful critiques that are conscious of the perspectives and experiences of sex workers This post at Feminist Rising is one example:

The United States is guilty of systematic structural violence which silences sex workers and disempowers women and female sexuality to the point of death.

The messages from the above posts are very similar: “This is visible and structural sexism that costs women their lives.” The first post objectifies sex workers, the second was informed by sex workers. These are subtle but important distinctions. In developing solutions, feminists need to allow sex workers to identify the source of the oppression and stand in solidarity with our demands for policy change. If more feminists don’t choose to do so, they will be undermining what they claim to be their goals: independence, safety and equality for women.

CFP: 5th Annual National Conference on Prostitution, Sex Work and Human Trafficking

The University of Toledo and the Second Chance Advisory Board have issued this call for papers for a two-day conference to be held at the University of Toledo on September 18th and 19th, 2008.

The purpose of this conference is to bring together researchers and practitioners across the country and abroad to lay the groundwork for future research, advocacy, and program development. Social service providers, researchers, advocates, health care providers, criminal justice and other paraprofessionals are invited to come together to become educated on the issue of human trafficking and the needs, risks, and victimization of those involved in commercial sex work.

If you are interested in presenting, please submit an abstract. Abstracts are due June 30th, 2008. If you are interested in attending, registration details can be found on our website (here).

-Bridget Crawford

(via Feminist Law Professors)

Fox News: Alex Jones on DC Madam Palfrey’s Murder

Um, if you want to use my story….

Yesterday I posted a very sincere post about a conversation that I had with my mother. Later, Jessica at Jezebel posted this:

Karly Kirchner of sex-worker site Bound, Not Gagged recounts a similarly accepting response from her mom, but adds that she wants her mother to start reading her posts on the blog.

She goes on to quote Morgan Winters, whose bio at Utne Reader says:

Morgan Winters graduated from the University of Minnesota. He enjoys writing about media, food, and uncomfortable social situations—but never a combination of the three. With confidence and authority, Morgan does his best to convince his two children to listen to him. He rarely succeeds.

Wow. This guy sounds like an expert on the sex industry. Jezebel continues:

Perhaps those posts will lead Ms. Kirchner’s mother to a deeper understanding of the oldest profession and her daughter’s reasons for choosing it. But, says Morgan Winter on the Utne Reader‘s website, “There seems to be two basic motivations for writing about one’s tenure as a hooker, neither educational. The prostitute either wants to glorify or vilify the industry and its consumers. Either of these seems simplistic and disingenuous. After all, not only are we talking about the oldest profession, we’re also trying to understand arguably the most complicated physiological aspect of nature—sex—through books about themes that, if authored by anybody other than former prostitutes, would fall under the ‘teen’ section in the local library.” Even with a more nuanced view of prostitution, I can’t imagine any mother would be particularly thrilled to discover that her daughter was a hooker. I got an awkwardly scolding phone call from my mother when I wrote about foreskins. I can’t even imagine what she’d say if I told her I touched them for a living!

I am sorry for (correction) Jessica that her family is so uncomfortable with the human body that she would be scolded, as an adult, for writing about a simple part of the male anatomy. It’s no wonder that Winters would simplify a sex worker’s desire to tell her own story as either glorifying or vilifying the industry. Of course. We are either rabid, angry victims who are shameful and resentful of our past, or we are deluded gold-diggers.

When Diane Sawyer and Brian Ross pull this kind of shit, I’m not surprised. But if gossip blogs want to be taken seriously, you may want to actually re-post material available in the wealth of writing available on the ‘net by actual sex workers, we are the ‘experts.’

And Mr. Winters, you may want to stick to writing about food and socially-awkward situations that you’ve actually experienced yourself. It’s sad that a writer from Utne, who gave $pread Magazine an award for best new publication in 2005 (or 2006?) a publication that we thought supported the voices of sex workers, would over-simplify and minimize the experience and writing of sex workers.

His quote really does summarize his own as well as Jessica’s posts:

Either of these seems simplistic and disingenuous.

Insanely Sane Conversation With Mom

So, I’ve been navigating through the world of helping my mother really come to terms with my work. A post over at Debauchette has led me to reconsider the importance of having a sincere heart to heart with my mother, on the phone, from 2,000 miles away.

My relationship with my mom is incredibly ordinary I suspect, based on stories shared with women my age about their mothers who are my mother’s age. The bottom-line is: our generation enjoys an extreme degree of sexual privilege over women of our mother’s generation. For that generation, dealing with a super-intelligent and highly accomplished daughter who peddles sex and debauchery for pay is very complicated and very personal.

It may come as a surprise to some, but many of my colleagues are out with their parents about their sex work. My friends have had varying degrees of success. One of my favorite stories from a friend who came out to her mother as a professional Domina goes like this: “Mom, I want you to know that I am working as a Dominatrix. You’re welcome to ask me questions about it, but I’m going to answer honestly, so don’t ask if you don’t really want to know.”

Smart. Sensible. Simple. Conscious of how this is going to have both an emotional and social impact on our family and that they need to be able to set their own boundaries. And TRUST. Honesty is a luxury that family relationships so often deprive us of.

We want to ‘protect’ our mothers/fathers/siblings/partners’ families/etc from the painful reality that they’re related to a <em>whore</em>. Not because we are ashamed of what we do, but because it is complex and difficult and we owe the people that we love some patience and support, even when that means we have to face some criticism and doubt. We’re also giving our families an opportunity to demonstrate how sincerely they love us, trust us and want us to be safe and happy.

So we’ve brushed up against this a few times. My parents have seen my television interviews (I’m not sure how many or which ones.) i have the slight advantage of a family that is not very tech-savvy. I’m not concerned that my folks are out googling every incarnation of my name that they can dream up. However, I suspect that my friends families and my partners’ friends and families do. (Dealing with family of a partner warrants its own entire post, coming soon!)

So my mom has called me early in the morning and said “Was that you on that program about prostitution?” I lied. Yes, I know this will actually be a surprise to those who know me. But the first time that I was put on the spot by my mother, I lied. I lied for no good reason. I was afraid. It was also a point in my life where I had been abused by the media in so many ways, I was having my own shame and guilt about it. It’s bad enough that you risk your personal safety and professional livelihood when trying to speak about the ‘other side’ of sex work that the MSM always ignores. On top of that, other sex workers will ridicule and criticize you, especially those who don’t have the huevos to speak out themselves.

So when Mom asked about one particular piece that I did, I froze. I was scared. Not because she’s the sort to lash out and say mean things to me, she really wouldn’t. I’m not sure why i froze up, or even worse, why I lied to her. But i knew that she knew I was lying. Thus, we entered into a mutual state of denial together. That was two years ago. Since then I have tried to talk to her about this on a few occasions. Telling her about specific instances that I thought would make it simple for her. She knew that I had been an exotic dancer, so this really wasn’t such a big leap for her. But the denial was strong. Without actually spelling out ‘I fuck for money’ she just wasn’t hearing me. So I let her sit with it for a while.

A couple months ago my cousin called. My cousin is the first family member I came out to, In fact, she attended a media appearance with me a few years ago, behind the scenes. When the program manager was asking me questions in preparation for the segment and asked “Does your family know?” My cousin cut in and said “Her family is here supporting her.” Yeah, I’m a lucky girl, in many ways. So my cousin called and said, “I just talked to your mom. She said she thinks you’re a prostitute. I told her that whatever you’re doing is not nearly as bad as she perceives it to be. You need to talk to her.”

So I’ve been putting it off. Mostly because I haven’t had the time and resources to fly home and do it in person. And because I’m dealing with lots of other stuff. Which would explain the text I got from my former partner last night: “Ur mom is trying to get a hold of u. U didn’t tell her we broke up?”

Shit. I knew there was something I had forgotten to tell my mom. She’s going to be so disappointed, she was all excited that my partner was male, and white and you know, acceptable. Which wasn’t why I liked him, he’s fantastic in all kinds of ways, he just happened to also be born white and with a penis.

So anyway, I had to call my mom today, and I was newly motivated after reading Debauchette’s post. I think sex worker activism and the real change that it brings happens on a personal lever. The work that Debauchette did on 20/20, my work on other programs, the handful of other brave sw’s who have taken on the media while still in the biz, we are some brave people who deserve support from our community, even when we fuck up. But the positive changes that came from these appearances are not necessarily the ‘public image’ that we present, because frankly, we won’t be seen any different as interview subjects, we’re just fodder for sweeps week.

But the personal conversations that we as individuals end up having as a result of these shows, and maybe the boost in confidence and pride that seeing us on the screen gives to other sex workers that leads to them having meaningful personal conversations, I think that is where we make the most impact.

So I called my cousin first. “Okay, so we all agree that my mom is totally in denial right?” She said yes, and that I should just let it stay that way until my mom is ready to ask questions. And my cousin was sure that my mom knew about the break up, and the call to my ex was a sly mom way of getting more info from a different source. Right on mom, you’ve always been sly like that!

So next I call my mom. Yes, everything is fine, the new place is great, I’m stable and happy. So many great things happening in life that I just haven’t had time to call and check in. Yeah, I’m still a little sad about the break up and had the first pangs of missing him this week. But really, it was a peaceful split, it’s best for us both, we’ll have no problem staying friends. And then she asks: “Are you working?”

“Of course I am.”

“Well, what are you doing?”

“Same stuff.”

“And that is?”

“I’m an escort and Dominatrix.”

“Oh that weird stuff…”

“It’s not that weird, it’s actually pretty common.”

“Okay, well be careful.”

And then onto discussing how beautiful my cousin will look at her wedding, all the plans, bridal showers, etc that I will be missing. And a sincere “I love you” from both of us at the end.

It was easier than I’d imagined, but she had a couple years of priming and I’m fortunate to have my cousin on my team. I’m relieved, things are fine with Mom and therefor will be fine with everybody else in the family. I’m not dreading family weddings anymore. Not that it’s appropriate for me to announce during a wedding reception what I do, but at least my mom will be able to say what she wants to close family members and I can follow her lead, and to everybody else, I’m still just a student. 😉

So I’m going to encourage my mom to start reading BnG. When I visited her a few months ago I was at this site a lot. I guess when I’m not working (I never do in my home town) this is a site where I can come to be close to my people. She told my cousin, in the same phone call when she expressed her suspicions that I’m a ‘prostitute’- “She was on some website the whole weekend about gags and bondage, she’s into some strange stuff.” It will be funny to send her some specific posts and see what she thinks.

Thanks mom, I love you!!!

Radical Vixen Interviews Amanda Brooks

Sex Worker Solidarity: Amanda Brooks

What do you think is the best way to promote solidarity with fellow sex workers?
Since every sex worker has their own pet issues, it’s important for all of us to step back and view the big picture. The truth is, every sex worker faces the same basic social issues – only the degree and intensity changes. Those who work in criminalized fields face additional legal and social issues which are essentially the same regardless of what “class” the sex
worker belongs to.

Promoting solidarity isn’t hard with blogs, discussion forums and real-live groups. When you start to feel a sense of belonging with others who understand your obstacles, it’s easy to present a united front in public even if you have disagreements in private.

Sometimes the distance of the Internet backfires and we splinter into arguments over things that matter only to us. Then it’s important to remember what I said above: we all face the same basic issues.

Promoting solidarity comes from every sex worker reaching out to another on an individual level. We’re all people-persons; otherwise we wouldn’t be sex workers. But feeling involved requires that we learn the individual. Sex workers aren’t going to feel loyalty to someone whom they only know from a mass e-mail (like current mainstream-marketing wisdom suggests). Meeting the individual sex worker isn’t hard to do and it isn’t difficult. But since there are so many sex workers it’s going to take a long time to reach everyone!

I have to add, this series is a great starting point for introducing an audience to sex workers we haven’t met before. I’ve contacted a couple of your interview subjects because of their interview here.

Memory Lane

I have a book shelf that has old notebooks from school, day planners and such. I recently decided that it’s time for a major purge so I’m sorting through all of it and throwing out what I don’t need.

Going through the pages of one of the day planners I came across one of my first web-based sex work experiences. Scribbled on the back of a printed email is the name of a store and cross streets in San Francisco. That was where I met him at- across the street from his apartment. And his phone number, just seven digits, because everybody in SF has a 415 area code.

He had posted an ad on craigslist.org seeking a student who’d be interested in mutual masturbation. I was about 20 or 21 years old. At the time I lived outside of San Francisco. I had been a dancer, but there weren’t many dancing opportunities in the town I’d moved to. So I sought out sex work opportunities in the Bay Area because it was the nearest city where the sex industry was easily accessible, but it certainly is not the only city where the sex industry is easily accessible.

So I replied to his ad. Sincerely able to say “I’ve never done this sort of thing before.”

The idea of going to a man’s house and letting him watch me masturbate really turned me on. Getting paid for it was even better. But obviously, I had safety concerns. Was he really going to respect my boundaries and not touch me? What if he was psycho? I didn’t really know what to expect, but how would I know if I didn’t just drive into the city and find out?

He asked me what sort of porn I like to watch. I told him girl-girl porn because I was mostly into girls around that time. I took all of the safety measures that I could think of. I gave the address and his phone number to a friend and promised to call her when I left his house and when I got back to my place. I did call her when I left, but I forgot to call her when I got home. I was so tired I just fell asleep. A mistake that I will never make again. It’s not fair to leave people who care about you to worry. Especially when they’re being supportive of your choices and helping you be safe.

So after many emails and phone calls I finally felt safe about going to SF for the meeting. I was excited all the way there. It was one of the most outrageous decisions I’d ever made. But I felt prepared and equipped to make that decision. I felt very safe after some investigation and planning with friends. If I had been driving into the city with nobody looking out for me I may not have been so confident. Having a friend who knows what you’re doing is so valuable.

I didn’t even have a cell phone at the time. When I arrived at the store he was there to show me where to park. He was in his mid-30’s, balding a little bit, about 5’10”. A little over-weight, but not obese. I could tell he was nervous, which somehow made me feel relieved because I wasn’t nervous at all. I think in that moment I understood that I was the one with the power, even if I couldn’t articulate that feeling at the time.

So we went up to his apartment. It was a typical one-bedroom in San Francisco: wood floors, tiny kitchen with tiny bathroom that hadn’t been updated in at least ten years, a decent sized bedroom and a living room. He was a bachelor working for some tech company that was probably later bought out by Microsoft or Oracle.

When we got into his apartment $200 was sitting on the counter. He just sort of waved toward it then offered me a drink. I asked for water and slipped the cash into my purse. Then I used his phone quickly to check in with my friend.

I was happy and enthusiastic. It was obvious that nothing was going to happen if I didn’t initiate it. So I jumped right in.

“Let me check out the movies you got!”

“Oh, they’re in the bedroom,” he said in a mumble. Now I was starting to have sympathy for him. He was so nervous! I wondered how long it had been since he’d had a girl in his apartment.

I went into the bedroom and chose from three videos. I opted for a dvd with a three-girl scene. Why not? He put in the video and then said, “Uh, I got you some toys too.”

“Yay!” I was genuinely pleased about that.

He handed me a package that had a little mini-vibe plus additional attachments. Perfect.

I didn’t see any reason for making conversation. It would have just put more stress on this socially awkward guy. He wanted to hang out for a while with an adventurous woman who would show him a good time. So I did.

The girls in the movie were hot and it had some elements of kink with boots and riding crops. I liked having the movie there for both of us to look at in order to avoid awkward interactions with each other. But what I really got off on was being watched, and knowing that he was getting off on watching.

So we masturbated for each other while watching porn. Nothing too kinky or unusual. He was very respectful. He didn’t make any unwelcome advances. He seemed to understand that if I felt comfortable that I would take the experience to a fun place that was pleasing to both of us.

As we watched the movie and played with ourselves I got more and more excited. I took one of his hands and placed it on my right breast. I turned so that he was directly in front of me and placed one foot on each side of his body so that I was straddling him, spread eagle with a clear view of my pussy while I massaged my clit with the mini-vibe and fingered myself to climax. I felt him squeeze my tit harder as he moaned and came into his own hand.

“Wow! That was fun!” I wanted us both to feel good about the experience. I knew that his pleasure was reflected in my pleasure. And I genuinely enjoyed myself.

He was shy, but clearly happy. He offered me a clean towel if I’d like to have a shower. I accepted and quickly rinsed off, sure to take my purse and all of my clothes into the bathroom with me. He seemed nice, but I was still protective of myself and the money I’d just earned.

When I came out he had a bottle of water for me and smile. He thanked me for coming with a shy giggle. He was sweet and I was happy to have shared the experience with him. I used his phone quickly to say I was heading out the door. And I left.

On the way home I stopped for gas and realized that I was standing at the pump with a huge grin on my face the entire time. It was kinky and fun, and I’d just made in one evening what I was used to making in a week. Suddenly, so many options were available to me that I’d never had access to before…

The Music Biz and The Moral High Ground

Jay Smooth. Intelligent and cute!

Kristin’s Friends Support Her

Despite the comments about “everybody makes mistakes” this is a really great interview with friends who’ve done music gigs with Ashley Alexandra Dupre. See sex workers are people with real friends and personal relationships and we’re not all damaged and disfunctional.

Did the DC Madam get DC residents to rethink prostitution?

$1 Million to Kristen to Pose in Hustler (If she accepts)

I think she should ask for more personally. $1 million seems so 1990’s. Come on Larry, airline tickets are getting pricey with the cost of oil these days. Apparently Penthouse wants her as well. I hope she’s got a reputable and reliable talent agent handling this for her. She deserves way more than they are offering. Kristen- CALL US FIRST! We got your back girl.

She’s not thrilled that her topless photos are being used without her permission. I hope she’s got good lawyers. In general, I just hope that she’s got positive, supportive people around her who are encouraging her to think clearly and make smart decisions right now. There are many people clamoring to use her to their advantage and it’s socially acceptable because she’s just a whore.

Kristen,

I say let your Whore Flag Fly, honey! You have been the most interesting thing that most people in this country have looked at since Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s nipple at the Super Bowl. YOU ARE WORTH WAY MORE THAN $1 MILLION

How much did Jennifer Lopez get for pics of her babies in People? $4-6 million? For BABIES. Has Jennifer Lopez ever been the hottest single topic of discussion in political, social and entertainment circles the way that you have this week? No!

You’re talking about having photos taken so that every guy who’s been jerking off to the teaser photos of you floating around the web this week will run out and buy the magazines.

You are worth big bucks woman! Nothing sells better than sex- nothing. But making them wait for it is definitely smart, and you can probably give some pretty valuable interviews without having to take your clothes off and maximize the total number of media outlets paying for your time.

OWN IT! Be proud. What is there left to lose? There are a great many of us who admire you and sympathize with what you’re going through. We’re concerned that you’re in a vulnerable situation because of the nature of this publicity. But we know that you can come through this ahead and we’re cheering for you!

We know lots of smart and successful women in the adult entertainment industry who can lend advice and support should you need it. BoundNotGagged.com is the way to find us

Warmly,
Karly and All of Us at BnG

Most excellent Spitzer-related media gaffe: CNN

via boingboing

I have nothing to add to this excellent sentence:

CNN apologized today for getting on-air analysis of Gov. Spitzer’s legal options from a former U.S. Attorney who resigned after being accused of biting a stripper.

Link (via For Your Entertainment, Thanks, Mark Frauenfelder!)

Are you a Victim?

via suburra 

Melissa Farley Get a Life!

I mostly don’t care what Melissa Farley thinks, I know that her position is weak and illogical. But her opinion piece opens with a question that I’d very much like to address:

WHAT do we know about the woman Gov. Eliot Spitzer allegedly hired as a prostitute? She was the one person he ignored in his apology. What is she going through now? Is she in danger from organized crime because of what she knows? Is anyone offering her legal counsel or alternatives to prostitution?

What we know about Kristen is that she was able to walk into a room with a man, take over 4K from him and STILL INSIST ON SAFE SEX. Hmmm, Kristen must be a very confident, intelligent woman who respects herself. Kristen is a hero. She understands that the quality of an intimate sexual experience does not have to be compromised by safe sex. KRISTEN could probably give young women some good ideas about setting sexual boundaries and communicating about them.

She doesn’t need an apology from him- not in the sense that Farley is suggesting. He needs to have some balls and say that he made a decision to employ the services of a woman with whom he enjoys spending time and he’s sorry for all involved that they’re in the public eye. He ought to thank, not apologize to her.

Her purpose, as a man who knew patiently explained, is “renting” out an organ for 10 minutes.

How does she justify objectifying language like this? We are not fractured and damaged beings as she repeatedly claims. Since when is ‘a man who knew’ a legitimate source of information?

Whose theory is it that prostitution is victimless? It’s the men who buy prostitutes who spew the myths that women choose prostitution, that they get rich, that it’s glamorous and that it turns women on.

Um, to many of the women who do it, that’s not just a theory. Do their voices matter at all? Unlike you, Ms. Farley, we actually have some experience to base our perspective on and we understand the realities of the sex industry better than you ever will because your perspective is limited to theory- ours is reality.

Do you actually believe that women are so incapable and ignorant that men have programmed us into announcing to the world that we like what we do and we don’t want jail and we don’t want diversion programs. We do want access to health and education resources so that all sex workers have the agency to make informed decisions without risk of economic coercion. Yeah, the men brainwashed that into us.

But most women in prostitution, including those working for escort services, have been sexually abused as children, studies show. Incest sets young women up for prostitution — by letting them know what they’re worth and what’s expected of them. Other forces that channel women into escort prostitution are economic hardship and racism.

I would really be thrilled to read any of your research or research supporting your argument that has been peer-reviewed and has sound investigation methods. Still waiting…

Economic and race issues are always relevant when discussing the sex industry. The Eliot Spitzer story does not play into the traditional stereotypes. Which is good in most ways and has some major downsides…. exclusion and a glossing over of the issues involved with the practical enforcement of prostitution laws, etc. This case did not surface because of a traditional prostitution bust. This was about him specifically. Keeping prostitution illegal will always create a tool for political maneuvering. However, this has given the public an opportunity to look at a new angle of the industry that it was pretty much completely ignored before. And if all of us, in all levels of the industry, don’t start saying something, the media and Farley will continue to speak for us. So perhaps this is a critical point for the industry, can this be a situation that sparks new alliances and awareness among a more economically diverse group of sex workers?

The Emperor’s Club often required that the women provide sex twice an hour. One woman who was wiretapped indicated that she couldn’t handle that pressure.

As often noted by sex workers, myself included, this work isn’t for everybody. Some women enjoy stripping but would never do prostitution, some women enjoy prostitution but are too shy to get on stage in dance clubs. The point is- we need to be free to select the situations that we choose to work in, to have a legal environment that does not criminalize our right to COMMUNICATE (because, after all, that IS the only difference between the pro’s- pre-nups included- and non-pro’s) about those boundaries. If you can’t do it twice in an hour, that isn’t the right agency for you- find another one. Or better yet- work for yourself.

Telephone operators at the Emperor’s Club criticized one of the women for cutting sessions with buyers short so that she could pick up her children at school. “As a general rule,” one said, “girls with children tend to have a little more baggage going on.”

Again, this is an issue of choice. A professional is responsible for her schedule. If the schedule is not flexible enough for her, she needs to be able to work elsewhere (or for herself!)- not get out of prostitution. Sex work enables many mothers to afford their monthly expenses while still spending as much time as possible with their children. She needs to have choices within sex work. Limiting the public perspective on sex work to these extremes- either the rarest high-end situation or the saddest of poverty-stricken situations- prevents people from understanding the true nature of the work and associated circumstances that can limit one’s ability to choose.

Whether the woman is in a hotel room or on a side street in someone’s car, whether she’s trafficked from New York to Washington or from Mexico to Florida or from the city to the suburbs, the experience of being prostituted causes her immense psychological and physical harm. And it all starts with the buyer.

*Yawn* Okay, yeah, it’s all because of the natural biological human sex drive which women are expected to suppress and men are supposed to lie about. It makes perfect sense, it’s like how breathing creates air pollution.

As Spitzer Prostitution Scandal Dominates Headlines, A Look at the Plight of Sex Workers

What happens to the escort? While the Eliot Spitzer story has dominated the news media for the past two days, little coverage has been paid to the plight of sex workers in this country. We speak with Juhu Thukral, director of the Sex Workers Project of the Urban Justice Center.

Listen to Democracy Now!