January 6, 2008
My dad use to veto my thoughts and feelings with these words: “I make the money around here and when you start supporting this family you can have a say in how things are run. Until then, keep your mouth shut and do what you are told.”
As a teenager, I often dreamed about making money so I could have an opinion.
I got married in my early 30’s and my income rose dramatically from a level which barely kept the lights on to a very healthy six figure income. It wasn’t my job that changed. I had been an escort for a couple years before I got married. But once I said “I do,” I did do my best to be a financial knight in shining armor. Whatever my husband and stepchildren wanted or needed, I went out of my way to make the money to purchase it. It felt like a self-sacrificing role but of course it was more of a manipulative maneuver given my training around money and power.
Despite or maybe because of MY overbearing assertions about being the one in charge because of MY income, I eventually grew tired of being the primary breadwinner in my marriage. The more money I made the lonelier I felt and the more tired I became. My husband didn’t express much appreciation for my money and yet he became accustomed to all that it could buy. Making twice the money he earned never meant being respected as a good provider or a hard worker. And though he rarely said so, he didn’t like what I did to make my money.
When you are a whore, your family takes your money as penance for your sins – not a gift of your labor.
Full post here
Filed under: Blogroll, Ethics, Family, Feminism, Injustice, Marriage, Sex Worker Bloggers, Veronica Monet |
Bound, Not Gagged 
I am slightly nonplussed in the sense that I assume your husband knew of your vocation before you got married? If so, then his indifference is astounding. But it has to be said that we are not programmed to accept the temporary “possession” (and I do not want to debate the whole meaning here) of the one we have chosen with whom to spend our lives. But there is the suggestion that should the author drop her job, her husband will leave her because he enjoys the material benefits. On the other hand, he is clearly unhappy that she is earning her money by turning tricks. What a conundrum!
Now you’re starting to get it.
XX
“When you are a whore, your family takes your money as penance for your sins – not a gift of your labor”
So true – you hit the nail right on the head. Isn’t it awful?