Ack! Sitting up late in my hotel room in Vegas..kicking myself because I had signed up for the “adventure” of trying out brothel life by way of Madam Bella who presented to us at the Chicago Desiree conference. I knew it wasn’t going to be the ideal situation, but hey, it was only 10 days right?
Vegas is 6 hours from LA. and 6 hours from Wells, Nevada.
I am sort of homeless and playing travelling hooker just to ease my mind of ending fighting relationship with a boyfriend I had sugarmama’d (meaning somewhat non consensually) for the last year. My emotions are already in turmoil. And then I read Amanda Brooks’ blog on her experience at Bellas. Terrified.
Is it too late to turn back? to give up? Yes. Unfortunately. It is. Bellas was my one hope in dark shithole of LA escort market and I had planned this trip based on the fact that I have fallen short of my monthly expense minimum because of my credit card debt and it has caused me to be constantly frantic about money, fighting with the boyfriend over money, taking bigger risks in sex work, GETTING ARRESTED. Yes, I also must somehow raise money for my legal fund, as I recently get charged with prostitution in the city of LA in May of this year. Need to pay for the lawyer to fly down for the pre-trial conference (where we will plead NOT GUILTY) on September 5th.
I have subletted my apartment for the month, because of going to Mexico for 2 weeks made it impossible to pay rent, so in many ways, I cannot go back.
I just got into a wicked screaming fight with my ex/boyfriend…finally got him to move out and finally he returned his key to my house…He was blaming me again for irregular bumps on his penis.
I swear the amount of fights with partners where you have to scream to defend yourself against the title of reigning Ms.Disesase is tiring enough to make you give up sex work forever…It doesn’t matter how much you get tested, or how many barriers you use, you can still catch things, break condoms and/or flaw so in an unsupportive partner’s eyes (8 out of 10) you can still be blamed if ANYTHING happens.
I’ve decided to STOP PAYING ALL MY CREDIT CARD BILLS! Another liberating but scary thing, and start work on something called Debt Settlement, which is something you might hear about on the radio. If you have debt and it has become your PIMP like me, then you should consider it. You pay 40% of your total debt with the help of a lawyer, but your credit rating tanks for a year and then you have to buy something called Credit Repair…
I am in the heart of where I’ve had the worst times in sex work–Las Vegas. I tried casino cruising after Desiree 1 and had no luck. I tried being a stripper here many many times, when I was in my supple 20s, and didn’t make $1000s a day like the girls next to me. I HATE VEGAS. If I don’t go to Wells, where will I go?
Part of me wants to chicken out of the ranch idea and just pay for an Eros visiting ad for a couple of weeks. But then, I HATE VEGAS and it is 105 degrees out here. My Comfort Inn is exactly that right now. I am terrified of giving up my space, my peace, my sanity.
I burned out on stripped clubs because of the repetitive conversations and the repetitive music and stage fees and rules and endless bullshit. Stripclubs in San Francisco are defacto brothels anyway, just like in Thailand, everyone knows that sex happens in the club and after the club but the local government is paid by club lawyers to turn a blind eye to labor and human rights violations. But perhaps all that will be changing in San Francisco very shortly, and perhaps I will return there to be a whore. I burned out on stripclubs because people who were endlessly profiting off of your sexual labor could give a flying shit about you.
I wanted to go to the brothel to experience being legal. Having experienced jail and being an illegal for so many years, I thought it might be a refreshing experience. But Amanda Brooks and I are very different people. So there is a chance I could have a good experience. But, from her blog, it doesn’t sound like she made a lot of money for the amount of work required. All I remember reading was “how sore I was” and “the bell was ringing every 5 minutes.”
I have done a lot of hard sex work and have been hardened by the hustle in LA (where most of the money made is by upselling and bait and switch agency work). You simply can’t make enough money to survive by being honest, using your real picture and posting your actual price. My honest escort work is supplemental to my agency hustle. This is why a lot of independent girls try to work in LA and hate it. You have to be a hustler and willing to not care about most of the people you see in order to make it. In fact, many of the girls who do agency work are anti-prostitution sex worker perpetrators who, together with their drivers love to bully money out of all the “perverts who call them.” I don’t feel that way about my clients, and actually make my money in de-escalating the suprise of the agency scam and the usually keep me even though they didn’t expect me and tip me another $100 even tho they didn’t expect to do that either…(upsell defined: I am the Jiffy Lube of escorting, go in thinking you’ll spend $39.99, leave with a bill of $300 🙂
You have to be willing to drive long hours in traffic, sometimes at the crack of dawn, sometimes for no shows. Maybe Bellas wouldn’t seem so bad to agency work in LA. I have had crackheads and multiple other druggies in motels, alcoholics sloshing around in drool like Nicholas Cage, recently released felons with fake credit cards and more at the low end of my client list. Because of the hustle I do as an agency girl, I have been told off, insulted, kicked out of mansions and had countless doors slammed in my face–and that has hardened me to not feel guilty about the way I make my money. This is not to say that there isn’t a high end of the typical $3-400/hr escort, getting paid just to talk to business men, record execs in boutique hotels on sunset strip and more..but LA is dead right now and the money is just not there. I used to have an “agent” who had a system of spamming craigslist for me. But, craigslist seems to be on to that game and craigslist is also the favorite tool of sting operations nationwide, and exactly how I fell into the trap that got me busted.
I just got back from an amazing experience singing and doing art work in Mexico City. I never finished blogging about it for this page, but i did do so on my personal blog.
Will I make it to Bellas or chicken out of the ranch??
check out my fate in a couple of days, because at this moment, I feel like turning back.
Filed under: Amanda Brooks, Clients, Economics, Legal Brothels, Wisdom of Whores, Workers of Color, writing | 10 Comments »