Sex Work for Free-An Indecent Proposal

I cannot be the whore you need. I know you wanted a muse, a non pro sugar baby who would not talk of needing money, who would not demand a donation or an hourly, who would just adhere to future promises of being your high paid mistress for free..but, no. It won’t be me. I can’t. I couldn’t make it past the first date. I’m sorry. I’m too lazy to dress up and pretend I care when there isn’t cold hard cash involved. Even if you are the one of the bigwigs in a certain huge AIDS foundation and promised to get my sex worker organization it’s dream start up budget from all his associates and more. Some women both within and outside of this movement are naturals at this type of sex work. Some can marry and date rich. Some girls date the big daddies and succeed, but I fear a worse ending, being strung along with promises and dropped off with nothing but cab fare home. And it was such an indecent proposal because I saw you string up my love and passion for sex workers rights as the carrot as you tried to manipulate yourself into my weekly calendar. The thing that got me was that he wouldn’t offer dinner with these late night meetings at the hotel bar that we were supposed to “work on my grant application.” The thing that gets me now is that he said he “didn’t want to even sleep with me until he got my organization funding.” Of course, in his eyes, waiting to sleep with me would justify not paying me for my time, because of course, all prostitutes should be paid for are the sex acts, right? Maybe I screwed up the opportunity for my chapter of SWOP to get funded in major ways in the next year, but let’s hope not. I don’t think that grant decisions, even in Hollywood are decided by the sway of one guy’s sex drive. Especially not the only straight guy in a gay office. I’m sure the gay/bi sleep your way to the dream game is similar. It’s how James Dean made it, I hear. A lot of things in business get done by who you know and who you sleep with, unfortunately, and not just in Hollywood, but in the Foundation/non profit world too. I am too much of a power freak to be a whore for free. Once you’ve been paid extraordinarily for your sexuality-which could take form in listening, smiling, giving advice, engaging in conversation, sucking dick, taking it in the ass or watching someone without judgment or attachment throw their lives away in a dirty motel room smoking crack. Once you’ve been paid, it is really hard to go back to ever going through similar motions for free. You feel somewhat degraded everytime you do. Unless it’s with someone you love, of course. But we don’t love our tricks. We love our jobs. We like and respect our clients at best. Oh, except the sugar babies..they actually do end up marrying their clients, and that is the ultimate win in their eyes, so maybe they do end up loving. Like Ivanna Trump did. Like my mom did… I’ve tried to control the daddy types, but they just won’t play along with my power game. They are the ones who ultimately control. And I just won’t be that girl, so they end up hating me soon enough.

As far as Mr.AIDS Foundation Mack Daddy, I bid silent farewell. He was asking me to mix the day job with the night job, but essentially work overtime doing both for free. I have worked endless hours for this movement without compensation, no doubt, but on my own watch and my own direction. I also don’t know if I want anyone to have access to all of my personas at once. That is priceless. I felt very conflicted for many days about it, but the last time I flaked on him, it felt like the right thing to do.

3 Responses

  1. We don’t need no stinkin daddies funding sex-worker rights organizations.

    Daddies and other clients can and most definitely *should* fund SWOPs as much as they want, but they should do so as human beings who care about other human beings, and *not* as clients whose donations are tied to services. In any other job, that’s called job-based sexual harassment. Sexual harassers, IMHO, need not apply to fund any human rights organizations.

  2. That type of rich man who uses his money to attract and control women, who then complains that all women are whores, and then turns out to be stingy. These are the same guys who can’t handle women are just as wealthy and powerful as them. Don’t worry marikopassion, he’s only causing his own suffering.

    And I agree with arjuna, johns who want to donate should do so charitably. Otherwise, YOU are the one doing the donating.

  3. I had a client who was a philanthropist. He was loaded (later i found out it was his boyfriend that was loaded and he was more of the kept man). Anyways I mesmerized him talking about all sorts of topics at the private strip club. He tipped me $100 for a lap dance which was the most I’ve ever gotten at one time.

    Well he wanted more of me so I tried selling him a private room. He didn’t want the house to take the money and we conspired to sneak out and do it discreetly. At the time I was probably the only dancer that followed the house rules down to the ‘t’, but the general manager was a dick and one of the biggest con-artists I’ve ever worked for (that’s a story in of itself)…so this one one time that I broke the house rule.

    I never mentioned money the whole time. I found out later that rich men don’t like talking about money because so many people are after their money. If you seen the documentary Born Rich with Jamie Johnson this will give you a lot of insight.

    We went to his mansion and did whatever and then at the end he claimed he dropped his money and couldn’t pay me. I told him the night was “community service” because he was a philanthropist and I was doing the same. He seemed embarrassed about it and said he’d be back and pay me later. He came back a couple days later to the club and tipped me.

    We went out for a couple of dates, and he treated me very well. He was the nicest rich man I’ve met, and I don’t really have anything bad to say about him. Over some time I wanted to sell him the idea of a sponsoring me to go back to school. I was working the strip club to have the flexibility of working 2-3 nights a week while I went back to school. Well he never contacted me back. I got pissed and ended up bitching him out…

    Over time I find out that these rich men use their philanthropy as a way to shelter their money from taxes and provide a front for an image that they are trying to portray. I do not know if this man was like that, but in the rich & wealthy society, they have all these sorts of balls where society women and other charity people hold parties and solicit money for diabetes, children, and what not. All that is bullshit in my opinion. It doesn’t do very much good. Those parties are to hobnob with other people and stay in that clique.

    True charity is voluntary and comes from the heart. It has to be genuine. Many rich and wealthy got their money by hook or by crook! You are dealing with a bunch of scam artists that fake their charity. If you test someone to see if they are charitable, find out about their background. How did they earn their money? For example look at the whole banking industry. It is one of the biggest frauds perpetuated on americans. Today money is simply a piece of paper that people have faith that it has value. Or it is their credit card which is nothing more than someone creating money out of thin air. The bankers are clever and use all sorts of deceit to lull the public that they need money. It is perpetuated by advertising and all the vain, materalist things you seen in media.

    Think about it. What is money? What did people do before money existed? They traded things and services. Money can be anything people agree on – seashells, feathers, silver, gold, etc. Bartering cuts though the bullshit of money and is a lot more powerful. It’s hard to get people to see it the same way though. There is a big difference between wealth and money. If you had a million dollars at the north pole what good is to you if you don’t have shelter, food, safety and people who be around? Wealth is having goods and services. And that’s why the wealthy own the majority of the planet. We have to look into this before soliciting money from them.

    I truly wished I could have gotten a wealthy man to hear me out and help donate to all the non-profit organizations that I was involved in. So far it’s been a dead end venture.

    Times are tight now. I studied economics for a couple years and monetary theory. The US standard of living is going down. Our dollar is in a currency crisis. I protected myself by buying up gold and silver which retains its value.

    I talked to this stripper a couple of days ago, and she tells me this time last year she was ballin’ with money…now she’s lucky if she makes $100 in a night. This is one of the few times I’ve seen a stripper so humbled. They’ve been chasing the almighty dollar and living it up…but when times are tight it’s even wearing them out. I gave her a lesson on money and talked about different issues, in the end I tipped her a total of $30…

    ..so anyways I think we can build up an organization from the bottom up instead of the top down. Perhaps there are truly charitable rich people out there, I just haven’t met any.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: