My door and SW coming out day.

When I discussed my becoming a Sex Worker with my mom, last week, she got up and walked outside and smoked a cigarette or several…

Hours later sex work in general gets brought up by my activism (I had just received a call about some sex work activism stuff), and we had a really, really good conversation about how sex work IS work, and how it’s no different. I could tell she kept having some issues around sex work, and I kept asking, so what is your issue? debunking them, and telling her how it really is (from my perspective of course)…

After what seemed like hours of this..” The real reason is I don’t like it when it’s not a conscious choice someone makes.”

So I start talking about some of my completely socially acceptable past, where I started down a job I didn’t really want, didn’t really think about, and didn’t really ‘choose’, but I didn’t really NOT choose either. I was pushed a little maybe, without doing it I would not have gotten a good grade in school. But never was I forced into that job.I remember her comment went something like this “Had I known I would have beat your teacher up!” Except it was just in front of me. Seemingly fairly easy to get into, and maybe interesting. Sure the bad grade thing, but it was never said “do this or bad grade for you”.. it was “So what are we going to do about your grade.. <insert boring teacher language here>.. Have you thought about this?” Not forced mom! She calms down a little.

This and many grey areas like this happen all the time in other work, it and every other reason definitely happens in Sex Work as well. The point mom, all reasons for getting into some ‘regular’ work are all valid reasons for people to get into Sex Work as well. Coercion and Forced are grey areas, for individual people involved in being forced or coerced into choosing as being forced. Some are clearly forced, some less clear. Regardless, definitely non-consensual anything is BAD (and illegal, without needing to make sex work illegal), whether it’s sex work or not. I’m definitely a very consciously aware type when it comes to sex work as a job. Why Sex Work as a job? Not because I need a job, but because I want extra income to pay for my Sex Work activism.

She definitely got my point. We didn’t talk of it the rest of my trip. She seems to be more ok with me being a SW than my transgender status. She can’t get my name right, won’t use the right pronoun, etc. She does let me wear my regular clothing though.

So, back to the closet door!! Mine would be purple, it would have video screens in/on it, and would show all the amazing footage, video, scrolling awesomeness that is BnG, and all the other blogs, video, podcasts, etc that give SW’s a voice to talk and say what needs to be said.

Thanks to Jessica, Karly, Kitten, Debauchette and all others coming out to your mom to start this great discussion! I wonder if perhaps April 20th should become Sex Worker Coming Out Day?

Love to all from a newbie, who is still confused as to how she is able to post amongst all this greatness!

4 Responses

  1. “She seems to be more ok with me being a SW than my transgender status.”

    Funny, because when I told my mother that I had finally found something I was really passionate about… well, escorting… she was like, oh well, there is nothing that can shock me any more.

    She had had to struggle for a few years to come to terms with the fact that her son was a girl, so I guess the issue of sex work must have seem a relatively minor issue in that context.

    On the other hand, come to think of it, I inherited the slutty side from my mother…🙂

  2. Could some one answer these questions for me?

    Did Eliot Spitzer ever share with the women he hired that he was a government official or worked in the government?

    Have you ever had a client that is in some sort of position of power or influence?

    Is there a sex worker’s forum of some kind? I have a lot to say on these issues.

  3. @grace: *huggles* yes, parents are fun. I think they really do try their best, it’s just that their best is not good enough sometimes!

    @greenwhore: Tends to be in my experience most independent workers screen, so I would be very surprised if his providers did not know who he was.

    I have not personally.

    There are a few SW forums, this being one of them! Depending on the type of work that you do, there can be specific communities for the type of work also. Some are real-life focused like swop chapters, and others are online focused like this one and LJ, etc.

  4. I think I got off easy, my mother’s basic answer, of course in a derogatory sense being her intention, was that I had finally lived up to one of her expectations.

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