Enough, who is being silenced?

So, I seems I might be uninvited to the forum at William and Mary. Why? Because apparently, Sam Berg, who has been booked as a panelist longer than I and is traveling further than I, is uncomfortable with me being there. Apparently, once upon a time I said I wanted to push her in front of a truck.

Ah yes, well all know of what Sam speaks, no? She speaks of this post, made by me, in a moment of anger…a post which has been “reframed by radical feminist thinking” to stand as “Ren hates all rad fems and wants to push them to die violently”, yet, never mentioned Sam at all. Never mind that three of the women mentioned in it: Laura, Andrea & Faith were radical or radical leaning feminists, never mind that several of the other women mentioned were WoC bloggers putting up with some really vile racist asshatery at the time, never mind that several of the women mentioned were putting up with some really vile sexism and misogyny at the time, never mind that at least one of the women mentioned, an atheist, was putting up with some really vile godbaggery at the time, and never mind that I have repeatedly explained this before and apologized profusely for making the statement, time and time again…oh yeah, and never mind I got threatened with outing and the publishing of parts of my legal name and unedited photos of myself at a time before I had started posting such things myself-by a radical feminist…oh, and never mind that to the best of my recollection, in all the situations that prompted my angry and ill-advised response, Sam wasn’t participating…I want to push her in front of a truck. So she doesn’t want me at William and Mary.

Which, if I might for a moment… I am the only person on the panel who is currently a sex worker. I am the only person on the panel who does pornography (the main subject). I could, oh, you know, be an interesting person with an interesting perspective to have there.

Oh, and should I mention when the Genderberg Forums, yes, the private super secret ones, where showing up in google-cache where the masses could view them a few weeks back I was the one who wrote to Sam and alerted her of this fact??? I wasn’t going to say as much, but I think now is the perfect time to mention it.

Maybe I should mention that, oh, within the last week I managed to team up, sort of, with a radical feminist in order to put some pressure on a “business man” who was marketing hateful, vile t-shirts?

Maybe I should mention that when lies were told about me on Genderberg, once requested, I removed the statements from the private forums of the site from my blog?

Maybe, even though I make porn and support the right to do that, I’m not a monster. Yeah, Sam and I have some history…but I’m not Lex Luthor here.

And for a moment, let us look at this realistically…I have no desire to do anything but debate Sam Berg. I have enough faith in my arguments that I am pretty sure they are all I will need, but consider this for a moment…I’m a 5’2”, 100 pound woman on allergy medication, who would be sitting in a chair, in a room full of people, on a college campus, with security present, who has to work- both porn and stripping- the next day, and would be driving 3 hours, with current gas prices, to get there. Hardly the perfect time for any sort of mayhem…and Sam could probably kick my skinny ass.

All I want at this point is a chance to speak my side, in a forum. I want the chance to FINALLY get to be a sex worker/porn whore who gets to speak for herself, rather than having anyone and everyone do it for me, or over me, or around me. And now, I may not get that chance…in part, because I made a really, really, really stupid statement in anger. But I don’t think, realistically, that is the entire reason.

I think there are others. I think Jill and I together are formidable when it comes to defending our stances. I think some folk don’t like to be challenged by those they are supposedly speaking for. I think there is a fear there, and it has nothing to do with trucks. I think some people, claim to love women and say they deserve to be heard might be lying a little bit when they say that. I also think maybe a little word called revenge might be floating around in their heads.

I want to be on this panel. Sam, I swear on everything sane or holy I intend to do nothing other than debate. It’s right there, in print, for the world to see, my promise, vow, oath, whatever, that debate is all I intend to do…maybe smirk a lot. But if you get your way and I’m not…you know, I can still, legally, be there in the room. In the audience. I don’t think, legally, you could have me barred from the event or the campus. So yes, I would be there anyway. What I am saying here is I won’t be silenced.

Not again, not now, not anymore. If you have faith in your stance and your arguments, you won’t try and silence me.

I am also encouraging allies and other sex workers to write to the event staff for this, if they feel so motivated, and say why they think I should be on this panel. Because I suspect some of them really think I should.

Sincerely- Ren