34 Responses

  1. Oh my Goddess. I totally saw that first clip when I was a seventeen year-old, or something, and still getting “allowances” from my clients. Ah, if only I had known about hourly rates sooner…

  2. Who’s seen the first episode of Hung?
    It looks to be a funny show and I’m looking forward to watching it which is unlike how I feel about the other shows of that type that are out there. I wasn’t going to watch it for fear it was going to be another hyper boil holiwood mess, but my hair dresser told me about the plot so I decided to watch it. It seems more realistic to me than some of those other shows, probably because I have children and the character has children.

  3. I look forward to Hung too. It is interesting that there is such a surge in interest in male escorts. It is about time! :)

    And Will, at least you know about them now. :)

  4. I visited the PaPau site and noticed it required a security deposit from its new male hires. Though this agency is in LA, knowing what I know about Vegas agencies makes me have second thoughts about how they’re treating their employees. Anyone is welcome to correct me, of course. But I am VERY leery of any place that requires any sort of “deposit” or “bond” for an escort to work.

    XX

  5. Yes, that does seem suspect. I have a friend who worked for them before, but he is no longer listed. I will find out why.

  6. maybe Hung will do for us what Will and Grace did for homos

  7. “maybe Hung will do for us what Will and Grace did for homos”

    That’s a possibility, Maxine. But then there has always been a better attitude towards “gigolos” in society then female sex workers. That said, I do hope that this is the equivalent of Will and Grace, too.

  8. Susan’s right about men already being more accepted than women. My interest in male sex workers is in getting more women to partake of pleasures available to them. Once women as consumers start demanding more pleasure on their own terms, perhaps our rights movement can move more rapidly.

  9. Amanda,

    I generally agree with you, although I wonder if the security deposit is a filtering mechanism to protect from too many guys applying. Maybe there’s a cost associated with bringing a new escort into the fold (photos, website update, time to train them, etc.) that they want to defray in the invent the guy backs out? Maybe a better model is to offer a refund of the deposit as a condition of sticking around for a bit?

    My broader question regarding male escorting, from the provider side is, how does the client screening game work for men? Beyond the normal background checks, women are able to take referrals from friends and acquaintances in this world. That same network does not necessarily exist for men. Any thoughts on how men could screen reliably beyond the standard info?

  10. Well, that’s a good idea. Women seem to be the primary opponents of decriminalizing prostitution. But that “men for women” video just might start changing their minds.

    Perhaps we can post this video on women’s blogs and chatrooms?

  11. Miguel,

    Paying to work is not part of the business. It doesn’t matter if they’re overwhelmed with applicants, a good interviewer will be able to weed through the suitable ones just as easily as an escort weeds through suitable client requests. In the female escort world, having to pay a bond or deposit is a sign that the agency has shady and exploitative practices.

    Yes, there is always overhead associated with hiring a new employee — just like any business. And just like any business, a properly-run agency does not pass the cost onto the new hire. This makes an ethical agency picky about whom they hire.

    As far as screening/networking goes, the networks that female escorts currently enjoy did not fall out of the sky onto our heads. We built it by making connections, reaching out to each other, fostering friendship and community. If male escorts want this extra layer of protection, then they have to create their own community (though I think they’re already welcomed by most of the female escort community as colleagues).

    XX

  12. Susan, that’s a great idea! I’ll bet the guys working for Papau would love it if we posted that on women’s blogs and chats. Let’s do it! Any ideas where to start?

    Miguel, Amanda is right. It takes time to build networks, but because of the internet, it can be done much more quickly now. One way female escorts network is by initiating banner exchanges with other escorts (most escorts have a page on which they feature their colleagues’ banners). By emailing an escort to initiate an exchange, she establishes a dialogue that can turn into giving references.

    I know a male escort who is just getting started who has already built a small network of other male escorts.

    I imagine one would just start asking for references from their female clients and banner exchanges from fellow male escorts.

  13. >>Susan, that’s a great idea! I’ll bet the guys working for Papau would love it if we posted that on women’s blogs and chats. Let’s do it! Any ideas where to start?>>

    Try this link:

    http://tinyurl.com/mqxswl

  14. Paying to work is part of the business. Just ask the dancers in San Francisco. LOL.
    And paying a flat rate fee as a deposit to work with an agency used to be very customary. Usually, they’d say the deposit was fully refundable at the time that you gave such and such notice, but if you ditched them then they’d use it to cover the cost of the customer they booked that you didn’t show for. I’ve paid and received back deposits. I’ve always gotten a receipt for them and once I had a place I worked at for the longest put the deposit in writing at the time I signed the contract as we were all independent contractors. Once I established a relationship of trust, I was never asked for a deposit when I would work on and off for that place over the years.
    And being an independent contractor means that we have to pay up front several costs in order to start work, like our hair, nails, clothing, waxing, spray tanning, work outs, condoms….transportation,
    And guys too. All the guys I know who work in the biz spend dough on grooming too.
    I’d be interested to hear what folks spend on their upkeep per month.

  15. I was discussing escort work, not stripping. That’s a whole other argument — and many strippers don’t like to pay a club to work either.

    Nor was I inferring that it’s free to start work as an escort. An indie has the same overhead an agency does but it comes out of their pocket. Overhead is a different concept than paying someone to get hired. Good agencies don’t charge new hires hundreds or thousands of dollars to be able to work. I would never trust an agency that required me to submit any money in order to have the privilege of using my body to make money for them.

    There might be a very good reason for a deposit or bond, but I haven’t heard one yet. If the agency can’t screen its applicants in order to find trustworthy individuals, then they probably can’t screen for safe clients either.

    It would be great if PaPau joined in here or an agency owner who does NOT charge new hires fees for working. I know they’re out there.

    XX

  16. Where does this statement come from? First hand experience.

    ‘If the agency can’t screen its applicants in order to find trustworthy individuals, then they probably can’t screen for safe clients either.’

    I made specific distinctions in my post. is there some hostility? Or is it the inherit communication flaws in this forum.

  17. Great link, Susan. Let’s do it! :)

  18. “Great link, Susan. Let’s do it!”

    Let me know which blogs you have posted the link to the Papau video, so that I don’t double-post the same link.

    Try to post at one blog and see what the response is, and then I’ll try a few of the other blogs.

  19. I posted on the forum for Disgruntled Housewives, in the “masterbedroom” under the Lust topic. I will revisit tomorrow to see what happens. I also posted a post at community.feministsing. I will see what they say there too.

    xoxox

  20. What’s with this men-serving-women thing being treated as if these guys see women exclusively? Almost all of the male-identified escorts I know have 90 percent or more, usually entirely, male clients. I’ve heard “gay-for-pay” porn stars make up 60 percent of the business. Plenty of my hustler friends are straight-identified but serve men.

    Sexuality is a lot more complicated than we could ever suppose.

  21. Maxine,

    It wasn’t aimed at you, but a general statement. Though you have worked for AND run an agency, there are more agencies out there than yours. And certainly more that charge fees than yours — like every single one in Las Vegas (for starters). I doubt you would trust their screening methods and I know I don’t! Because we both recognize these types of agencies aren’t built on good working relationships but on using people to make money (they certainly exist in more places than Vegas too).

    I did want to make any newbie reading this to think twice about joining an agency who required a deposit or bond before working. Anyone in this business has to choose carefully whom to trust and questioning work practices is a good way to start that process.

    No, this was not hostility directed at you personally. I had several other examples in mind when I wrote that, though I was springboarding off what you said.

    XX

  22. Will, they probably don’t service women exclusively.
    :-D

    But I’m curious as to women’s general reaction to the Papau video, because it might make them at least think about decriminalizing prostitution.

  23. I’m not finding the disgruntled housewives blog, but I’ll take a look at feministing.

  24. Well, my post was removed from the disgruntled housewives forum. :(

    But the Feministing one is getting some feedback.

  25. SWP-LV,

    Are you a regular on Feministing now? :)

    XX

  26. Maybe not quite a regular, but frequen poster. :)

    Here is the link.

    Susan, any luck with the others?

    And check out this yummy one Amanda found!
    Damian

  27. I’ve been looking over the responses on feministing.

    Some of these websites haven’t seen much activity in years, so I’ll keep looking around for ones being frequently posted on.

  28. I’m going to http://www.ivillage.com/messageboards to join. It seems like it’s a well used site.

  29. I’m having some difficulty deciding which message board to post at. The “sexuality” section is mostly “pregnancy” and “STDs” and stuff like that.

  30. OK, I’ve posted at http://www.ivillage.com/messageboards, in the “Health, Diet, and Fitness” section, in the “Finding Your Best Life” area, and my post is called “Male Companions For Women”.

  31. I love it!

    Thank you girls for starting the discussion in the various forums.

  32. Well, I saw one reply on ivillage!

    Also found this:
    Concierge du Monde

  33. Well, the ivillage post was deleted as “spam”.

    On the next one.

  34. Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbour were just setting up to do some research about this. I am very grateful to see such great information being shared freely out there.

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